Wednesday, August 13, 2008

13 August: Sunderland relocating?

OK, this "summer" is a bit of a joke. But the right wing think tank that has come up with the idea of shifting the populations of Liverpool and Sunderland to the South has written the best comedy script of the silly season.

Their pals in the construction industry will put up some shacks and all those poor underprivileged Northerners can then improve their prospects by moving south. Oxford and Cambridge were mentioned as possible towns to receive the influx (not Henley, Guildford, or Tunbridge Wells, naturally). Thank heavens they never suggested Basingstoke.

Yes, let's cram millions more people and their 4x4s into already over-crowded towns and roads, building yet more houses on land which is likely to be under water within 30 years (global warming, rising sea level, flooding London - remember that story?), houses that would cost at least twice as much as a house in Sunderland (somehow I don't think these new houses would be local authority estates). Let's shift all those people with flat caps and whippets, with their close-knit extended families, and pigeon crees, into civilised, forward-looking parts of the country.

What's that? Some of the northern natives might not want to live in the south?

Unless it's Spain or France, of course.

1 comment:

KAZ said...

I heard a comedy sketch on the radio the other day.
Caroline Ahearne was talking about a trip to London.

"We stopped off in Birmingham on the way to get used to talking to less friendly people."